I sit down in front of my computer really feeling the need to update but I have no words. Before anyone gets excited, there has been no news on finding mom's killer(s).

She has been on my mind so much lately. I did finally have a dream about her, but it was so out of left field. She did not look like my mom, but nonetheless it was a dream. I had it one day while sleeping for work that night. I overslept that day because I did not want to wake up and have my dream end. It really was a crazy dream but I enjoyed it. I have been hoping to dream of her for a long time so I was okay that it was crazy weird.

I think about her all the time. The bad news is that contained in those thoughts are flashes of the crime scene photos. Horrible, horrible images forever burned into my mind.

A dear friend of mine has a friend who is a psychic medium (can connect with the spirit of those who have passed on). I have talked with her, shared emails, and even went as far to schedule an appointment (that I cancelled last minute). I have never believed in psychic abilities, but I think maybe she could offer me some closure I so desparately need or maybe I'm just grasping at straws (to her credit, she has helped to solve at lease one murder case). I do know there is no easy fix for the heartache and pain I feel every single day, but I wonder if it would help ease the pain just a bit.

Before I end this post, I ask you pray for a friend and her family. Her husband is (#1 right now) on the heart transplant list. He is in the Intensive Care in Atlanta until a heart becomes available. This is such an emotional rollercoaster ride for them. If he has no more events, he will return to #3 on the list this week and come home this weekend.