Well another week begins and I have no more information now than I did a week ago. Tomorrow I will again attempt to contact the detective, it may take me a couple of days but I will eventually talk to him (hopefully before week's end).

I was expressing my disbelief of his comments to someone last week. She told me I am going to have to come to peace with this myself. I don't understand how to do that. How can I ever come to peace with what happened to my mom? I just don't see it happening.

On a lighter note, this week ends nursing school for me. I can hardly believe it. I'm sad my mom did not live to see me accomplish one of my lifelong dreams.

Who decides?

For those of you in GA, I'm sure you have heard of the tragic end to Jenny Ewing's life. She was murdered on a bike trail near Atlanta. I am very sorry for her family's loss.

Having said that, I need to make a point. Her body was discovered less than 24 hours after she was reported missing. Why is it the DNA evidence on her body will be processed and results provided in 10 days? Last night Nancy Grace featured Mrs. Ewing's story on her program; why have I not heard back from her? Sonny Perdue, the governor of our state made statements about Mrs. Ewing's murder yesterday (Thursday); I had to wait for weeks to receive a reply from him. It simply stated he was forwarding my request to the head of the GBI.

Is the difference because my mother was not a socialite? Our city and state should be outraged by every life that is taken by another, not just the ones that seem to be able to attract the most media attention. Maybe Mrs. Ewing's family does not want all the media blitz that is currently going on around them. I would love just a small part of that; I think it could help find my mother's killer.

Nothing about this is fair. It is definitely not fair that my mom was murdered. But why don't all murder victims receive the same attention? My mom was an awsome lady, and I cannot begin to tell you the things I lost when she was murdered. Who decides which murder victims deserve the attention in the media and law enforcement community?

Now, on the TV I hear breaking news that the "person of interest" the police have in custody has been charged with the murder. Good work GBI.

Outrage

I am furous. I talked to the detective this afternoon. He informed me he is now working on 3 murder cases and has no update on my mom's case. Does he not have an update because he has not had time to work on it?

I have contact the Macon Telegraph, 13WMAZ, Macon Mayor C. Jack Ellis, and Macon Chief of Police. This is the gravest injustice ever. How can any one case be given the attemtion it deserves or needs when one detective is assigned 3 murder cases????

There is a huge break in the justice system.

Waiting

You'd never guess it, but I have nothing new to report. I attempted to call the detective several times today, and was never able to speak with him.

The local CrimeStoppers agency was to tape a re-enactment of the crime to air on the local TV stations. From what I understand it should be about 90 seconds in length. I had a conversation with a gentleman on their board of directors early in the month. He led me to believe the re-enactment would be done in a week or so, and would air a few days after completed. I have yet to see anything on TV about it. If anyone sees it before I do, please let me know. I think it is to air on the local CBS, NBC, ABC, and FOX stations as well as 55 additional Cox Communication stations.

Death

Early this morning while at the hospital during a clinical rotation, I had the opportunity to be with a family as their mother passed away. The lady was elderly and had been declining in health for at least a few days.

I'm sure the family doesn't share my opinion, but I couldn't help but think how lucky they were. They were able to say to their mother maybe the things they had not said and were able to say goodbye. They had many years with her and knew they had done all that was possible for her before she died.

I know death is never easy, but I can't tell you what I would give to have had that opportunity with my mom. I know this family is in pain, and I am glad I was there to offer a hug, a pat on the back, and my condolencences to the family. I am very sorry for their loss.

I know the familiar saying that all things happen for a reason. I hope I am able to use my experience to be a better nurse for my patients and their families at the end of life.

Still Nothing New

Still nothing new to let you know. I haven't called the detective since our conversation Monday evening. I hope if something significant develops he would call to inform me, but I don't know if he would or not.

I am down to my last few days of nursing school, and that is a busy, busy time. I am finishing up clinical hours and taking tests. Thank God it is almost over.



This picture is very old. I believe it was taken at one of my aunt's wedding showers, and she was married in 1991. I'm glad we have it.

What Am I Thinking?

Sometimes like earlier this evening, I think to myself how can I just go on living like nothing has happened??? The fact is I am not the person I was before. And my husband will tell anyone he misses the old me.

I am now busy finishing nursing school and planning the celebration that will follow. How in the world am I to plan a celebration during the darkest moments of my life???? It may end up not being much of a celebration, but at least I'll mark the occassion with a few family and friends.

I called the detective a few minutes ago. I think he is a bit agitated with me. He asked me, "What do you expect me to get done in 8 hours?" (I last talked to him Thursday or Friday afternoon.) Well, for starters catch my mother's killer(s). I don't like calling him anymore than he likes me calling. But I am dedicated to staying on him until the job is completed, meaning the killer is captured. I know the Macon Police Detective Bureau is overworked, but I think finding one or more murderers should take priority.

I know it has almost been 4 months since her body was found, but the realization is really beginning to set in now.


This picture of me and her was taken at my aunt's wedding in 1991. My how we (I) have changed . . .

Another Week Begins

Well, time keeps ticking by and there has yet to be an arrest for my mom's murder. I keep hoping.

I read "View from a Hearse" last night. It was an interesting read. I didn't laugh at the funny stories, but I enjoyed the message at the end. I would recommend it. The last chapter or so seemed to be written for me. I needed to read that part especially.

I will call the detective tomorrow and I wish he would tell me the murderer had been identified. I want this killer to pay for what he/she/they did to my mom. At times this still seems so unreal. If only we could go back to before this happened.



This is my mom with three of her siblings. He oldest brother isn't in this picture. This was taken a few years ago at Christmas at my grandmother's home.

Ironic

Isn't it ironic how some things happen? Once my mom's apartment was released and I was able to get her belongings, I found a book that spooked me. The title was "View from a Hearse." I almost couldn't touch it. You could not imagine the thoughts I had.

Then I thought I might read it one day, but have given it little thought since. Well, yesterday I was reading Ed Grisamore's blog and I saw a reference to this book. I read that posting and followed a link to the author's blog (http://viewfromahearse.blogspot.com/) and website (http://www.brucegoddard.com/). After doing some reading on his sites and contacting the author, I think I should read this book sooner than later.

From the best of my understanding, it is of comical nature but has an underlying message I could appreciate. I think I will pull it out and maybe start reading this weekend. I'll let you know what I think.

Another pic

Finally another picture. I believe it was taken Christmas 2000. Today, my aunt was gracious enough to let me rummage through some of her pictures and I found a few you will be seeing here. This was taken at her cousin's house. She is pictured with her sister and niece and nephew. I really don't know anything more from the detective than I did the last time I posted. I think I have called him everyday this week. Today when I called I apologized for taking up so much of his time. I want him concentrating of finding the killer(s), but I have these burning questions that I feel I must have answered. I am so happy that at least some progress is being made.

As of today, my mother's body was found 103 days ago and her murderer(s) have not been identified or captured.

Hope

I am so happy to let you know I again have hope whomever viciously murdered my mom will be found. Of course I hope it is sooner rather than later. I talked to the detective today and he had encouraging news. I am not sure what I can elaborate on, so I won't for now.

I once had a co-worker who would say, "What happens in the dark comes to the light." I have often thought of this expression over the past few months, and I pray that is the Lord's will with this crime. I need to clarify that I do not know if her life was taken in the daylight or dark; I am only assuming it happened at night.

Another Week

Well, another week has officially begun and I know no more this week than I did last. I'm sorry but I have absolutely nothing new to report.

I talked to an aunt over the weekend and she said my frustration is apparent in this blog. And I'm sure it is. I cannot convey to you the frustration I do feel. I don't intend to offend anyone, but what's the big deal if I do?

I have a test this week that I do not feel prepared for, so tonight I went to a classmate's home to study. I'm not sure why, but at one point I became upset and was crying so hard that I could barely see the road. Was it the song on the radio? Another car I saw? What?

I don't understand why that happened. Well, maybe I do. I have been so busy the past few days that I've had less time to think about this. I know it was all I was thinking about at that time, by myself in the car driving. My mind played a mini-movie and I imagined the scene as it must have happened in her apartment.

I was not prepared for that. I did not plan to do that. It was horrendous. I could hear her and see her and I can't help but cry now when I think of it.

Macon Telegraph Article

Today the Macon Telegraph ran a follow-up on my mom's story. I had the usual run of emotions when I read it: hopelessness, regret, disgust, sadness, disbelief. . . . and the list goes on. My comments for this article are very near the same as they have been on this blog.

I was a bit surprised by some of what I read in that article, but I will question the detective in an attempt to get my new questions answered.

This week we should hear from the Crime Lab. I am praying there is other DNA besides my mother's present. If not, I'm not sure what the next step will be.

This is the article as it appeared in the Macon Telegraph today:
Woman's killing remains mystery
By Tim Sturrock
TELEGRAPH STAFF WRITER
Jan Johnson doubts she'll ever know why her niece was beaten to death in April, but she wants whoever did it brought to justice.
"Certainly if the crime is resolved, there isn't going to be a reason why. We're still devastated," Johnson said of the killing of her niece, Brenda Carol Mathis.
But for Johnson, the wait for the arrest of Mathis' killer or killers is frustrating, as is calling police every week with no progress reported.
Mathis, 48, was found beaten to death in her Pursley Street apartment April 2, after she hadn't been seen in days. Her car was found about two miles away. Police say they aren't sure what was taken from her or how many people may be involved.
Police and family members said Mathis was known to help people down on their luck, including drug addicts. Police said they think someone she knew and tried to help may have robbed and killed her.
Johnson, who believes this theory, said, "She was everybody's friend, that's for sure. She was just friends with the wrong person, unfortunately."
A $5,000 reward is being offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer. A reward of up to $1,000 from CrimeStoppers also is available.
Macon police detective Jim MacDonald said a lack of information has stalled the case. He said he thinks someone knows something that could help the investigation, but that person hasn't come forward.
"There are a few suspects that we're looking at, but it's a matter of gathering the evidence to tie those people to it," MacDonald said. "We're looking for someone to step up to the plate to help. Someone had to see something."
He said police are still waiting for test results from the GBI crime lab, which have been delayed. He said the results could yield evidence, such as the blood from a suspect.
"It could be absolutely nothing, too. It's just a matter of what they got," he said. Because police don't know if the tests will produce worthwhile evidence, they haven't requested that the GBI put the tests in the Mathis case ahead of other tests the GBI is doing, he said.
MacDonald said Mathis likely was killed March 28 or March 29. She didn't show up for work March 29, and she was reported missing April 1.
Police arrived at her home April 1, her birthday, after speaking to several people who hadn't heard from her that week.
MacDonald said because Mathis was known not to loan out her car, and her car wasn't near her home, officers thought she might be away. Police said they also thought that because April 1 was her birthday, she might be away celebrating. Later that day, police found her car with a flat tire and had it towed, according to a police report. MacDonald said because there was no sign of foul play at her car or home and because they hadn't talked to a family member, police didn't return to enter her home.
April 2, one of her friends and the apartment manager of her building discovered her body when they entered her apartment, police said.
MacDonald said because there was no sign of forced entry, the killer or killers likely knew her and that she may have let them inside. He said police don't know if anything was taken other than her car. Police haven't found her driver's license or her car keys, he said.
MacDonald said he thinks there was a struggle, and someone heard or saw something.
"Those apartments are very close together. They're right next to each other and the walls are paper thin," he said. "So somebody has to know something."
Mathis' only child, Christy Belflower, said the idea that someone Mathis helped might have hurt her is one of the most disturbing parts of the killing.
"She may have known the person. She may have even considered them a friend, and there is no bigger betrayal," she said.
Her mother's welcoming nature is an example she said she is still learning from.
"She was the most nonjudgmental person. She didn't care where you came from. She didn't care what your skin color was. She saw everyone as a person," Belflower said. "Often I would be leery of people but she believed something positive could come out of them. She was very encouraging."
Belflower said her mother sacrificed a lot in raising her alone, and it's hard not knowing what happened.

GBI Crime Lab

I'm sure mom would be upset with me for posting this picture for all to see. It was taken in the early to mid-nineties (remember when glamour shots were popular?). She would probably say something to the effect of, "Chirsty, are you crazy? Don't use that picture. Look at my hair!"

On to the latest . . . . . . For those of you who live in the central GA area, I hope you saw the news reports yesterday (07/03/06). It was reported the backlog at the Crime Lab is shrinking and the average turn around time is 30 days.

If you have read this blog before you know that is not true in my mom's case. As of today, my mother's body was found 94 days ago (equaling 3 months and 3 days) and we are still waiting on the Crime Lab. I know the Crime Lab did not receive evidence the day her body was found, but surely it was within a week or so. Without a doubt it was not 60 days later. So why the delay with this case?

This is the story as it was reported on 13WMAZ:
Law enforcement agencies around the state say they are seeing improvements in wait times for getting test results back from the Georgia Bureau of Investigation's Crime Lab. The shorter wait time comes more than a year after the backlog of cases at the Crime Lab reached 30-thousand. Budget cuts caused the backlog began growing in 2003 and left law enforcement agencies complaining that it led to delays in court proceedings. In some cases, the backlog was responsible for criminals being returned to the streets to re-offend while officials waited for crime lab results. The backlog now stands at about five-thousand cases. In most cases, the wait for results is only 30 days. G-B-I Crime Lab Director Dan Kirk calls that an accomplishment. He says over the past two years, new lab workers and the outsourcing of some tests have made a difference. Law enforcement agencies say they have noticed. Monroe County Sheriff John Cary Bittick says his deputies have stopped complaining about the slow turnaround of results.

I'm sorry to let you know there is still nothing new to report. Today marks 3 months since my mother's body was found.

I wish none of this ever happened. You can not believe how exhausting living this is. This horrible crime is always somewhere in my thoughts. Sometimes I think I need to distance myself from the thoughts, for my sanity's sake. But I can't. I'm hoping it will be better once the killer(s) is known and behind bars, but I'm afraid that won't be the case. I don't think I'll ever have the closure I so desparately need. Will I ever get over it? No, I don't think so.

I will soon be finished with nursing school. I would like my mother to be there for my pinning, but she won't be. I hope I can overcome the sadness to be able to enjoy the celebration that will follow. I know she would be so proud of me for going to nursing school and achieving one of my life long dreams.

Next week I will post more pictures of her life.